Hold My Interest

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I often question the logic in things,
The reality of nature.
From the outside looking in,
The realm is so small,
I can almost taste my destination,
Fluttering in my possession.
Opposing.
Like…A window,
On the other side a tree,
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But to soon be struck by lighting,
Falling to the heavens feet.
A blinded sight of thunder,
Approaching,
Whispering,
Stroking,
Every single detail the way it should be.
Now standing in,
Looking out,
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Yearning to escape,
To believe in what can’t be replaced.
Otherwise compelled to NOT imagine the multitude of violence, negativity, individual war,
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That WE as humans, as brothers and sisters of each other,
Bring amongst one another.
How every single breathing moment you live,
Is just one single breathing moment closer to your death.
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And how being sane,
Isn’t just part of living,
But also a part of living insane.
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We all know where sinners go,
But sin has apparently always been thee norm.
We all know of the profoundless attempts to reconstruct the world.
How our fate is seemingly out of boundaries,
Unto nations eager to rebel,
Motivated by greed and Hell.
Why waist a gifted moment,
On a regret that is not even rewarding?
Why anticipate an everlasting enduring love,
When humanity is nothing but CRUEL?

*a.SmileFor.a.Frown*

Realization of the Heart

As I’m sitting here laying on my bed, wondering what the fuck I’m doing…
As in, doing with my life, my relationship, my career…
I look at my daughter and I see hope. I see Godly success. The miracles of life intertwined with my heavy mental events.
Although, I look for quality I don’t strive for perfection. I try to do my best but it doesn’t always work in affection, so I give it a rest.
It’s like a fight each day within myself! How foolish of me.

I pray that as I channel out some of these emotions through this blog, I will find comfort in my heart for all the blessings I seem to take for granted.
That the realization of the wonderful and joyous aspects of my life will be revealed through my very own reflective shadow of writing presence. My eyes will open, and ears will hear, and the patience that struggles with all of my fears will pour out to flow as water on an unwithered rose.

It seems only rational to partake in the never-ending, uneasiness of life. Being around those whom erk the very last sain nerve right off the batting edge of my might. Who is to say where I will land right now. The sky is the limit, I’m soaring in the clouds.

In the midst of it all, I see myself, and I see my kids, I rejoice in the Wonderful things God has given me. I smile and then I cry! A tear for the joy, a tear fire the sorrow. To only keep faith that I will be able to live lifetill old age next to the ones I love on earth.