I wish he knew, that when…

I look at him…Only God knows how deeply I love him. As teenagers our bond was immature but reliant, on an off, somewhat consistent. After all these years how can it manage to be the same, immature and reliant, on and off, and flatly somewhat consistent. The tension between us seems to be much more heavier than that of my eyelids when I’m either tired or cried out.

So, I look at him…and I just want to climb on him, do everything he desires, cater to him. The way he smiles, all humbled. Undeniably, I love the way he glares at me as if nothing else matters. His caresses are guided by his interests. Each stroke of his fingers gliding gently across my body.

I look at him…I just want to make him happy. I want to make him proud. I want him to know that Im the one who can’t live without.

But then, everything just freezes up. Every thought about him buckles up. My words evaporate like water in his cup. Then soo much focus collides. The laughter and the joy are chased away with the sunrise. And I dread every emotion.

And I, once again look at him and see…

HIM, for what he’s worth. EVERYTHING, despite it all!

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